Ken's Guide to Surviving Your First wlw Breakup

I don’t think this needs any other introduction. 

• Scream, grieve, mourn. Go no contact. The basics. Listen to sad music and watch sad movies and cry it out.

• Thrift a new outfit. I know y’all were sharing a closet and you’re gonna miss her old sweaters the most so you have to get a new grandpa sweater so it's like a cozy hug, without the memories.

• Make plans with friends on your typical date night. This is time for you to do the things you love with people you love. Take advantage of it! Make a tradition out of it, like karaoke nights at the lesbian bar down the street. 

• Write everything down. So many lists of moments of joy. Learn how to take the good and leave the bad. 

• Steak dinner. Homemade and with friends. Wear your new outfit!

• Go camping, connect with Mother Earth. Let Whiskey be your mindfulness coach.

• Practice a new language or instrument. Try a new hobby and learn a new skill. We’re leveling up!

• Tea time! Perfect the art of being cozy. 

• Read some new books. Try a new genre. Learn more about something you love. 

• Wash all your bedding. If you’re neurotic like me, even wash your pillows. (I was informed that responsible adults wash their pillows anyway, not just in lieu of a traumatic event). 

• Visit your family. I’m grateful for the support and acceptance that they’ve offered me throughout all of this. 

• Cut your hair. If not a full shave, at least a new color or style. Hair holds memories, so release them.

• Switch up your soap, shampoo, and perfume. Scents also hold memories and you don’t need to be reminded of her every time you shower with the soap y’all used to use. 

• Develop a nice skin care routine. Get really good at your own massages. Get a professional massage, too. You deserve it. 

• Get tested! Be safe and take care of your health.

• Talk to older women about heartbreak. Their stories are a reminder that life goes on and you keep meeting new people. Fierce independent ladies inspire me. 

• Rearrange your bedroom and house so that the space is unlike the one you shared together. 

• Do some legos at the park. Practice your juggling. You can still do your favorite things y'all used to do together. Reclaim those spaces.

• Make plans to do your favorite things on big dates or anniversary in order to create new memories on those dates. This year was a Disneyland birthday!

• Find spaces that you thrive in and are celebrated. For me, that was the local jazz club and the cafe I work at. These communities carried me through painful times. 

• Finally, just leave the state. Start over in a new city entirely. Have a summer bucket list and do all the things you love doing with your favorite people. Get rid of all your belongings and travel with your pup. I’m officially counting down days until I leave. I cannot wait for the next chapter.

Love and wiggles,

Ken and Whisk